Conscious Aging?
I was first introduced to this concept by Ram Das when I read his book “Still Here” about 20 years ago. This spurred me to start thinking of aging in a different context. As I moved through the age brackets, I vowed not to give in to the status quo.
Our culture is extremely youth oriented in regard to appearance. There are countless commercials about anti aging cream, extending one’s youthful look, et nauseum. When we examine the entertainment industry, we find actresses holding on to their youth with Botox treatments and numerous trips to cosmetic surgeon. Of course, we only need to look as far as the producers who want that youthful appearance for the camera. Advertisers who pay the expenses, then sell their products to the now conditioned masses who worship youth as a model influence. Speaking of “Influencers,” social media is a harvesting ground for ‘big bucks’ as youthful models post soft porn pictures and tell folks what to buy.
All of this not so subtlety tells us that as we age we are worth less, because in general, people want to appear younger, not older (unless your 15). How do we handle this? We, as a culture, need to re-value our aging population. We, as an aging part of the population, need to see value in our aging. I hope I don’t need to point out that with age mostly comes wisdom. I know that in every case that may not be true, but let’s assume it is in general. Therefore, wisdom aside, what can we value?
Seeing An Aging Appearance As Beautiful
Looking in the mirror, as I approach 70, I certainly don’t look like I did at 21. I remember 21, “Holy Cow,” I don’t want to be their again! Then I look again, seeing the wrinkles, I see a journey, the challenges met, and failures. As I peer deeply, I see a life lived. There is a treasure trove of experiences, lessons, wonderful and terrible times, but they were all real and they led to this moment in time which I cherish above all others because it is now, I live now. Yesterday is just another tiny crease on a face tattooed by experience and life lived fully. I am happy, and when I look in the mirror, I do not see regret, I see the Joy of a wonderful life lived. To top it off, I get to share that now! I get to help others through their tough times. Now who are you going to trust to help you with your most challenging life issues? Someone who Botoxed their wisdom lines right off their face because they didn’t like what they saw? Is their ANY wisdom their? I think not. You’d want someone with a face that shows they’ve been though what you are going through and you’d like to also see kindness, understanding without judgment. Rather than seeing an elder with a pruned look, see instead a fellow journeyer, an adventurer with a story, and wisdom to share. Smile, see the beauty of life! True beauty, not from a bottle, pill or surgeon’s scalpel.
Nature’s example
The sprout of a Redwood tree is almost unseen. So tiny, it is lost in a forest of giants. The young adolescent is bright in its color, but still muted by its mature family all around. A young adult tree, standing tall and healthy, has much beauty, but the eyes or the observer look for the old ones’.. those that have experienced centuries of challenges and somehow survived. Those ancient species 2 or 3 millennia old, they have the authentic beauty, that’s what everyone wants to see.
Why then can’t we see that same beauty in humanity? It’s up to each of us to change the narrative. Don’t allow media to direct the narrative. Take a stand, see beauty in aging. If you’re not their already, you will be, When you look into that mirror in your old age, you want to fall in love with the life you’ve lived and the person you’ve become. It starts now with seeing beauty in the process of aging. This can be a practice as well as a journey. When using products, use those products that resonate with Nature. I use Fyve products because they are simple and don’t harm the earth or my body.
The Practice
1- Change your mind by affirming what you admire. When you see an elder, smile. Say to yourself: “That person lived a real life.”
2- Remember daily that every living being ages and dies. It’s not a tragedy, its a journey! We see a baby come in and we celebrate! Aging and death can be celebrated instead of being revolted by the idea. We all make this journey, see it as a beautiful process, all the way to the end! We only speculate what’s on the other side, but the unknown is an adventure as well. No fear, be ecstatic that you or your loved ones’ can graduate from this school of challenges and experience the next phase, whatever it is with a sense of wonder and joy!
In Conclusion
Most emotional pain comes from attachment. If we are attached to the idea that youth is good and aging is decrepit, we will be full of pain when we age and our loved ones’ age. One more time: Don’t let media lead the narrative, see aging as beautiful, remember the redwood tree. Live Life Fulfilled!
Thanks, and To Your Health!
Al
Changing our mindset about aging is key. I think that most of us have the wrong approach. Thank you very much for this post.
The pain concerning aging comes from a superficial view of life. Most companies and product vendors want us to have that approach. It meets their interests. But stepping back and taking a deeper dive can save us from pain.
Absolutely Able!
Thanks for taking the time to read this, and keep passing on the idea that aging is a beautiful thing!
To your health!
Al
This is quite a unique article. I have read many articles throughout the past couple of months but I haven’t come across anything like this. This is why I love wealthy affiliate. You come across different articles everyday. I will be sure to share this article with my parents. I know for sure that they will relate to it more
Thanks, Daniel, I appreciate your reading and commenting.
However, the post is as much speaking to the young as to the elders. It’s now when you’re young to see the value in being authentically your age and find beauty in that as well as in those that are elder. So when you do reach that marker, you don’t feel bad, but blessed!
Stay well and thrive!
Al
It´s never easy to age…. It is wordly seen as something bad, as becoming useless, but in the end, it´s nothing like that. This article provides consciousness about aging, and it is really good for young people to came across this kind of articles. It brings peace and joy on getting old.
Thank you for writing about this!
Thanks, Johnny!
I’m happy you enjoyed the article. True, our culture tends to cast aside the elderly as used up..
Talking into the wisdom of a lifetime is well worth the slowdown of time it takes to check in with someone of an elderly state.
Stay well and thrive!
Al
I am 60 years old and I agree with you. I see people beginning to “pass me by” as an engaged part of society and see me as someone who needs to be taken care of. There are both benefits and solutions to this problem. I’ll take my freebies, discounts and preferential placement in line with grace and gratitude. (They’re offering so why not?) We, as seniors, can also give back to society now that we are retired and have more free time on our hands. Many do this through volunteer work but I prefer to be an “at your disposal” grandparent. I drop off/pick up children from school, teach them to cook, craft, cover school vacations, days off and date nights. Getting older has its setbacks and its benefits. And, guess what? Society can devalue me all they want. My grandchildren will always remember what I’ve done for them.
Grandchildren are a wonderful blessing.
As far as the perceptions of the masses, that’s up to each one of us butt to see ourselves as old, but wise, thriving dynamic beings 👍
Thanks for the comment, Cynthia, be well and thrive!
Al
This is a great article Albert and is so true.
At 57 years young I have always looked after myself both physically and with my nutrition.
It really does freak me out when I see some of these celebrities who are my age and without sounding rude are freaky looking.
It is not a natural look and I really don’t understand what they see when they look at themselves in a mirror?
I would never have guessed you were anywhere near 70!
Thanks, Mark, both for commenting abd the complement🙏👍
Yes, aging naturally and authentically is more fulfilling than trying to be someone you’re not.
I’m glad you’re taking care of yourself!
Stay well and strong!!
Al
Well said Al. We too often shunt our seniors to the side. Get out the way! You are driving too slowly. Come on old guy it really is not that hard to do. All these comments do not convey empathy but instead disdain. And you are right the media does cause us an over-focus on youth. However, in eastern cultures like in Japan and parts of Africa, Elders are revered for their experience and wisdom. Their people come from far and wide to sit at the feet of an Old Sage because they have been taught how important it is to learn and pay homage. So yes certainly let us embrace our aging and accept the experience that comes along with it even if it generates a wrinkle or three.
Thanks, Hugh, for reading and resonating with the article.
stay strong and thrive!
Al
I can totally relate. I must confess I dread getting old. I don’t like gray hairs, wrinkles, and all those changes our bodies go through as we age. I know it’s a normal process we all have to go through, but that doesn’t make it any easier.
Psychology plays a big role in our perception. I will read that book you mention and see if I can find anything helpful.
Thanks for sharing. Forever young!
Hi Enrique, I hear you!
But, if this offers any solice,u years have been better and better as I age. I’m only 70,
But so far I prefer myself now to who I was as a younger man.
Stay well and thrive!
Al
Loved reading this, and you are so right about the media making it all about staying young. Yes, it does help to look after oneself as one ages in order that you can live a full and active life into your old age, but I think that too much emphasis is placed on one’s physical appearance.
Embrace those wrinkles as each one as a story to tell, and it adds to your character. With age comes a wisdom that nobody can take away from you. As they say, ‘youth is wasted on the young.’
I’m happy you enjoyed the article!
You’ve nailed it!
Stay active, be well and thrive for years to come!
Al
Hi there,
This is a beautiful article, just as beautiful as ageing itself. Growing old is something that passes through everybody’s mind. I strongly believe lack of preparation for your old age is the main cause of depression.
Certainly, not all old people have wisdom. An old person with wisdom is certainly beautiful. attractive and a pull factor than an old person who still thinks like a kid.
I was told by my dad, “growing old is a privileged denied to many people”. Mindsets need to change. watching too many media adverts will certainly depress many. The focus should be more on living a healthy lifestyle more than using all sorts of anti ageing antics. No one can ever cheat nature
I will be sharing this article with friends and family. Thank you again for the beautiful piece
I’m happy you enjoyed the article. I agree with you that the focus should be on living a healthy lifestyle, rather than trying to “look” young artificially.
Be well and thrive!
Al
Liked reading your post, Albert. With age comes the wisdom. It is nice to age gracefully and know what to expect with age. As mentioned by you, up to the age of 15 a kid wants to grow and look older, but after crossing teen age, everyone wants to look younger. You can see that by the growth of the anti aging market products.
But in my opinion, I think it is okay to look younger than your age, with some beauty products like hair coloring and working out to look slimmer etc. How ever, I will not go to the extend of using Botox for wrinkles. Being your age and having a pleasant appearance are two different thinks I feel.
Ernest
Thanks for reading and commenting, Ernest!
Yes, there’s a whole industry of anti-aging products.
Being healthy is different that needing to’look’ young.
It’s the image of a youthful look being preferable that I’d like
To see change. That can only be done by reach person
Embracing who we are as authentic and beautiful.
Have a great day! Stay well and thrive!
Al
Hello there, Albert! Wow this is a great article. I always forget how much society and especially with the influence of media how big and important youth is to people. It’s sad that it’s become such a big focus that it takes away the beauty of aging. It could just be me only but I look up to the elderly for their wisdom. It’s amazing how much knowledge and wisdom they may have! I think that quality is much more desirable since it is longer lasting whereas just the outer looks is only temporary. But of course, those who are still young should continue to enjoy their youth. I guess it really comes down to appreciating the moment and what we already have rather than on the things that we do not.
Thanks, Mike for reading and commenting.
Yes, appreciating the moment will certainly help!
Be well and thrive!
Al